When the autumn comes with its gloom and rain, I get this feeling of melancholy and the need to write down my thoughts on paper. This time I will ramble in the form of a blog post. Please don’t read this as me preaching with a “holier than thou”-attitude. It’s meant by me and for me. Maybe I can read this condescendingly in ten years and think of my then primitive philosophy.
The Dichotomy of Control
The division of control into two separate groups. These are my thoughts on this, and might or might not always match the likes of Seneca, Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius.
It’s possible to divide the world into things that you control, and things that you don’t. The stoics have narrowed these down into more practical groups, where the only things you control are your actions and your thoughts, where the things you don’t control is everything else. It will not come as a shock to most that the outcome of most events are outside your control. You can affect parts of an event, but never guarantee an outcome just by willing it to be so. In truth, many things that from the outset can be thought of as in your control are not. In many cases, such as bodily health and your reputation, you can only make a best effort to reach a given state, but no amount of effort or will can make you reach your goal if you are simply unlucky enough.
If you look at the opposite side, on the things that you truly are in control of, you will also find things that might come as a surprise. While your goals, your thoughts and your actions are obviously something you dictate yourself, this group also contains your opinions, your feelings and your reactions to events. Say you have a colleague that you dislike, maybe even despise. More often than not, that opinion is not based on logic, but instead on you having an internal image what they are like. This image is unlikely to be a fair representation of said colleague, and is more likely a hastily constructed strawman, where you believe that their life is focused on trampling on the things you are care about. If you instead really took your time to see them for who they really are, and what they really stand for, you will more than likely find more than enough common ground to truly respect their good sides. If you truly look you will find that they even have qualities that you don’t.
When it come to feelings, the initial onset can be hard to impossible to control. But after recognizing what has happened and how it makes you feel, you have the decision on how it will continue to affect you. Controlling one’s feelings is not always easy, and requires practice, but by being mindful of how you feel and why you feel that way, you will quickly realize that you really are in control. In fact, discovering this might come as a powerful revelation that no one can force you to feel in a certain way. Others can not control your feelings like you can, despite how they behave. Taking this one step further and you come to the conclusion that if you really are in control of your feelings, you are also responsible for them. In layman terms, being hangry is a flaw in your mental character, not a physical condition. But you cannot expect yourself to be a paragon of virtue either, the most important thing is acceptance of these facts and willingness to try to continuously improve yourself, when you have the energy to do so. Try not blaming others for causing you to feel how you feel. Instead try to be constructive. It’s also noteworthy that feelings are not good or bad in themselves, but how you react to them makes them so. The feeling of grief can give a powerful release while prolonged sadness can be very destructive if it leads to apathy.
There is a quote on the internet I once read which goes something like this: Life is like an ocean journey. You can select your crew, the captain, the ship, etc, as well as your destination, but after you cast off you are at the mercy of the sea. Apparently the quote is supposed to be from Epictetus, but I never found the source. I still like it, because the way I see it, the greatest source of unhappiness in ones life stems from preconceived notions on what makes a life a “good life”. Having a high salary, living an exotic life, having a partner beautiful enough to cause envy in others, owning expensive things. Sometimes you may feel like you need to excuse parts of your life even though they make you happy just the way they are. It can also be hard to differentiate between things that are supposed to make you happy and really make you happy. I feel like I have more to write here, but the topic is embarassingly close to motivational quotes, so I will stop myself.
Being and Time
Why everything is subjective. These are my thoughts on this, and might or might not always match the thoughts of Heidegger or Husserl
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
- Einstein
When we live our life we have access to, and are limited by, all the senses of the human body. The sum of these sensory experiences can never create a perfect representation of the reality that we truly live in. Instead, we are stuck with what we have. Blind people will not have sight as part of their living experience. Some animals can use ecolotion or feel magnetism strongly. Since even things like hearing change drasticly for people during their lifetime, it wouldn’t be a stretch of the imagination to expect every persons representation of the world to be unique. Even primal instincts like fear cannot simply be boiled down to an universal truth that is the same for all humans for all eras (Apparently, if you google “Phenomenology of Fear” you will find plenty of people who disagree with me). Because of this, we must see for ourselves what the world means for us (See Sarah Bakewell’s explanation of Phenomenology), but not trick ourselves into believing that the essense of the experience can be objective.
Since the world is such a subjective place, our view of the world can clash wildly with people we love and respect. This can be a frightening experience. Since every person’s experience is unique we cannot truly understand or love each other. Instead, we can only understand or love our internal representation of the person. In a way, you live as an unique person inside the mind of each of your friends and family. Not understanding each person’s individuality causes conflict when the true person behaves differently from the person inside the mind of someone. This can result in anger if you feel they have led you astray with regards to their personality. This is also the angst of a child not understanding the expectations of its parents.
We all have a strong basic need of feeling understood and respected for who we are and how we feel. But when we cannot truly express ourselves to others, since there are no true common ground. We can only try our best to understand others and be understood ourselves.
Only describe, don’t explain.
- Wittgenstein
On Death
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
- Epicurus